Tag: journey

Authority is worthless?

Suddenly , I was blinking and holding the paper ball in my hand . I stared at it up close. It was history notes. So that answered what the class thought about the history lectures. I gazed at the ball, rolling it over .
It was a sorting grid, with lines of dates and yellow stripes. I wove my brows together.
A bass line of coughing made me look up. Sam and Sandy were hacking into their hands and Sandy cocked her head. ” So what do you think? You have a different view of the war, being from the far off science bases. Did it hurt your town ?” I thought and didn’t know what to say. I had been warned enough about talking and not listening.! I slumped and looked sad. “Some!” I glanced down at the economic book under the table. ” We have some water and crop problems- chemicals got in . One neighborhood had to move. We are still working ” Wondering if these kids remembered the Love Canal contamination?
I tossed the ball up in the air and caught it.’ The dent made it easier to hold onto. Hmph, ‘I thought. ” Is there nobody in Authority that would do what you want to do if you have the resources, money and energy? ”
An unspoken guy in a green speckled suit looked at the loud colored clothes girls and smiled mischievously . “Authority is worthless. They only care about staying in office . Their lives are about getting selected!! That’s all!” The sparkles on his sleeves glimmered in the lamplight, as he pumped his arms towards the windows. There were many nodding bodies and “yes!” responses with fists in the air ” “The people who work hard to survive and pay them, we don’t matter! They don’t listen to anything we say. They just stay in their circles and buildings. “
The Ginger girl’s friend raised his voice, and his raised palm. “They brought us everything we needed to survive! The authorities brought food, water and everything for months! We didn’t have any money or any way to get supplies. The Councils sent medicine, help and experts! We wouldn’t be here without the councils’ support!” The black guy rolled up his loose khaki sleeve to show a bandaged bicep. I was rolling the ball, in a lopsided circle on the floor, while I was listening. Smiling, I rolled the ball towards him.
The wheaton terrier hair guy reached over and threw the ball high in the air. ” “That is what you DO when you want an answer !” His green eyes challenged me and he stepped away from the falling ball.

Catch and release

The girls on the couch leaned one way and another. One of the girls, with the loud clothes and the smoky eyes, from Approve day, caught it.
Her long, pink cotton candy blunt-tipped nails dug into the ball. The dented ball didn’t roll when she tossed it on the table.
” Nothing can be changed, so long as everyone is hurting someone else. You think that talking quietly will solve the discordances? Nothing will get completed, because we can’t get around our fear- their fear and anyone’s frustration, who decides to damage someone else! ” Her nails curled around her fist. She was spoiling for a fight- an old eye for an eye, my grandfather would say.
I frowned . ‘The war was so long ago–? Was this really about a history lesson? ‘ I wondered. There were gatherings all around the campus. I never thought anything about it. I just surmised that they were mutual study groups. Now, I wondered ,whether they were separate factions and the campus was anything but peaceful? Suddenly the ball was pitched!

Trusty Ball

There was a group sitting in padded chairs and sofas, in the gather area. I stood on the edge of the area. The guys were tossing a paper ball across the piled up coffee table, they looked like collapsed camels with their legs folded under them. Books and binders were taking up as much space as the people . Walking by,she noticed that there was a chestnut brown girl who was crying and writing as fast as she could.
Focusing on the discussion, she heard anger and energy bouncing as much as the paper ball was being tossed . Catching the ball, her friend, Sam glared around the group. ” they will SAY ANYTHING, anything to keep their influence! They are no different from the guys that expanded the war! ”
Sandy grabbled with the clasp on her binder. ” Some of the ideas ARE WORTH TALKING about!” She yanked on the binder. It yielded and she pulled a folder out. ” The forests are growing and the ground is less moist, Michael Lewis studied the crops, and found that the yield is ten times what it was in years past!”
A wheat colored hair, chunky guy tossed the ball in the air while he spoke. ” What is not discussed are the reasons why-? The science programs that are not disclosed. The money that has gone into the treasury and disappeared. What have they done with it? ” Another ball was thrown at the guy, the balls collided and dropped.
” What trust can be put in the facts reported,? What facts are actual and what is just cobbled together and put forth?” One of the guys who was munching on straws in his mouth, questioned.
The Ginger girl with her brown eyes blazing. ” Trust! what is that ? Facts! what are they?” They destroyed anything! They destroyed any chance at independence!”
The girl who had joined them for snacks the previous week and was always drawing while they all talked, put down her wired drawing book “Do you want to travel and make notes of the events and grounds yourself ? If we are all doing research alone, What then? Tell other people what you found out? THEN trust each other? Besides, being exhausted, and having lots of the same info, who is going to put actions into making the problems and matters straighten out? At some point the material is brought together and the issues are going to be highlighted. Do you think all of us have enough time to verify and do anything else?” She picked up the ball, colored on it, and then batted it.
The Ball went way up. Sam stood up and reached for it. ” After all the observations, and discussions – THEN?! Who can do the work? Each class, each research team? The group down in the courtyard? Nothing gets completed because we argue and point at the other people and they at other people, too “. Sam rolled the ball in his hands.” We have been divided for so long.” He cupped the ball with the palms of his hands . ” As long as we are divided and not listening nor working together,- THE POWER PEOPLE- who are making their way- the ONLY WAY, will be very happy. How much pain and hurt stands up and blocks everything!?” He pitched the ball and swatted it.

Back to School

He came in with a backpack across his shoulders. He was dressed in a red coat, light blue polo shirt and dark blue or green pants. I scratched the back of my neck My head felt stuffed and a headache was coming on. I wanted to go to my room and hide. Studying in the garden room had seemed like a good idea, I had a ton of papers and assignments to complete.
” never have I been so frustrated and irritated” . I sounded out my emotions.
I had been doing well, until he walked in with his smile and stuffed notebook under his arm. ” You probably have finished everything! ” My shoulders dropped and I slammed the notebook
. He held out his hand and helped me up. Going into the study and opening the door for me, he looked down at my not -so- organized coffee table. ” No, that is why I am here!” He dumped the backpack on the chair and sat on the end of the sofa. ” I can’t figure out why she said that the crops rotation didn’t figure into the economic forecasts. ?” His forehead knitted to gather, lines folding into the other. ” I thought she said that this area was an agricultural one. ” He pulled out a folder and shoved it onto my notebook. ” but there is NOT a SINGLE LINE ABOUT CROPS! in the Economic plan for this region. ”
” Well, alright, then I ‘ll just stop what I am doing–! ” I turned away from him,’ I needed his help and yelling would NOT be the way. ‘ I told myself. The books piled up on the floor by the table didn’t make it easy to get to the sofa. Torn notebooks and papers are laying in a scatter making a mine field of the carpet.
” That history timeline doesn’t make ANY sense. I have never ever heard about any of those places. Certainly,. not in my family!! ” I groaned.” I can’t find any information that makes it make sense.” I stabbed at a open book.
His hair was all spiky and tangled. He plowed down into the sofa. I frowned,’ he seemed SO UPSET! ‘ Why ? Economics?’ I thought.
” I haven’t gotten to the economics sheet, yet. I was trying to write the ‘ My first impression of college is.’.. I smirked . “How do I explain my first impression of college, when that was 2 degrees ago? Years ago. ”
He smiled, it smoothed out his face and made him seem more like a college boy. ” I think she is wondering what YOU think of THIS COLLEGE.
he patted my on my head. “at least that was what I did. I figured that I didn’t want her to know I had been to school before her class. ” I giggled, more because he was right and I had totally misread the intent of the assignment.

Tart disagreement

Sitting by him on the couch, I set the glasses of tea with the appropriate amount of ice. ” What I can’t understand is the History notes of the great war.? ” I reached for some chips. ” I mean, as wars go, it was pretty simple . It was 2 egos! Two cousins fighting over power and prestige.!!” I complained. My shoulders drew up to my ears. ” I was the only one who thought the cousins egos were the cause. Everyone else sneered at me.? ”
He sipped his tea and wrinkled his nose. ” that is TART. ” We had an earlier conversation about drink preferences. I said he needed to taste my southern ICED TEA with lemon.
I smiled prettily. ” the good stuff” and drank half of mine in a gulp.
” I agree, it was a power and prestige grab, with more and more issues melded into it. Every complaint grew all out of proportion.” He stated and leaned forward, putting his pads in his pack .
I nodded and closed my notes. ” Why did everyone disagree so much?”
” I still don’t understand why the places and the cities which HE says were the major battles I have never heard. The Places which are the well-known battles are not even LISTED in the books. Anywhere ! ”
” Remember, how I said that we are HERE TO LISTEN!. The Cities are important to them and is a description to HOW they see the causes and effects of the conflict on their mutual memory and emotions.
A lot of the students lost a whole lot and towns, countries were torn apart.” He frowned and took a chip, munching it .” The agriculture has never recovered and some areas are useless, at least for now. ” His demeanor lit up.”THAT is what I am interested in, the recovery process. ” He drank some more tea and added some honey, swirled it and downed it. ” I could get used to that . ” He nodded, smiled and walked out the patio door.

I answered the questions, keeping in mind, that I was trying to pass the course and that I HAD listened to the lecture. Smiling, I started putting up everything- then stopped . ‘I still had math and the back to school essay, to do.’ I thought. ” Why did the history accounts differ from my understanding , his understanding and the class’ understanding. They are so different! ‘” I mumbled. “Almost like we were not hearing about same event, even when the PHYSICAL facts are the same. “

Garden Fill

I was on the couch ,wrapped up in a small shoulder wrap I had found in a closet. The Oatmeal colored wrap was warm and light, I shivered under the knitted lacy trim. ‘There was a nip in the air, enough to cool down my room, my office ,I guess. I didn’t have work to do but? ‘ The book that I had pulled out of the library was balanced on the pillow. I had the sketches laid out on the coffee table. We were meeting for lunch, and were discussing the Ankh garden, I guess.
A lot of guessing this morning, more so than ordinary, I was getting bored and tired. Sighing, I wondered if Marie and Joy were going to speak to me anytime . I wanted the familiarity of visits from my “maiden” aunts. I wanted the safety of last week, if I couldn’t be home. Wiping my tears and shaking my hair, I wanted to go home, even if it meant being ostracized . Even if my sister criticized my make-up, my haircut and my clothes, I looked down at my purple and white top and pants. They fit well AND it was so comfortable to have different clothes, for going out. I straightened the sleeves so that the ink stains didn’t show from the front, at least.
The pictures of the plants looked pretty but too small and dark.! I flipped through the book. ‘ Where are the Tiger day lilies and the Black eyed Susans or the White daisies ?’ I wondered. I wanted to put a brilliant rainbow in the ground. I had spent an hour looking for some bright colored flowers or trees to plant in the sunny outward long straight leg of the design. ” I must not know where to look. I just want some cheerful and familiar colors.” I muttered to myself. Stretching all the way to the side, I bounced up, as the blue pants and the black striped orange jacket righted itself in my field of vision. He had a box in his hands and his shoulders bounced in a shrug.

“A garden is a place to enjoy and share. Its’ lay out and the plants chosen tell stories and give lectures on the importance and need of being with the other parts of the physical world, a separate place that lives without the mechanizations of humans.” I picked up my carefully laid out public spaces with the paths and cubbyhole benches, that was partly maze and partly home. ‘There was a place called Daughtrey Gardens . It was my favorite place to go and wander around. I’d walk there wondering how the gardeners could do such a masterful job.” He was staring out the window , like a lab partner who didn’t realized how hard the job was going to be.
I sipped my water and sighed. ‘The plans would go in my memory box upstairs.’ I decided ,wrapping my finger around the corners. ” I had just noticed that the flowers in my plans were how the beds in front of the Daughtrey gardens were planted. The exception being that those plants were labeled in botanical jargon. If they weren’t going to be used, then I could mess around with them and maybe plant some anyway. ? ‘ I looked down at the cookies . “They aren’t the Gardens bakery cookies ” . I shoved them away.
He squeezed my hand. ” Master of plants, since you are so curious about your environment. I dig some digging of my own. ” He handed me a card with a picture of the commons sketched into it. He smiled that crooked , slanted smile. ” We are going into the lair of learning. ” When I frowned, he laughed. ” a saying from my part of the country Get some shoes on and let’s go to some lectures.
I blinked . ” We are going back to School as in across to the other buildings?”

Stepping off the grid

I was out in the garden, there were so many weeds. Mom had always said that plants were crowded out and if you wanted your bushes or planted to be healthy, then you needed to give them room to get plenty of sun and food. I wasn’t sure how much sun they were getting. As my eyes refocused back to earth, the tall man with the cinnamon hair ,who had sounded so sharp in the kitchen and the hallway several days back, was now walking towards me.
Coming down the pathway, looking completely out of place, he looked down at me. Frowning and scrunching up his nose as if the whole of native plant life smelled unpleasant. “Joy and Marie seem to think that I could be of help to you. They didn’t know” – he stepped on a whole tuff of dandelions, “I don’t do well with transplants.” He walked back towards the side door.
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “With what?” I left my piles of pulled up weeds and seeds on the gravel . A flock of birds were punctuating the air with their calls. I looked for them but I didn’t’ see them.
The humid air was getting heavy and dirty. The sky looked light gray and pale purple. I stood up with my gloves in my hand. I wanted to go in anyway. The tea should still be on the side table.

Entering the darkness of the room, he stopped and did a slow survey of the room. “I always thought the room was logically laid out.” He circled the couch, sidestepping the work/coffee table.
” I don’t understand the attraction of it. It’s too far away and too small, but if I want to find people then they seem to be here.” He sat on the couch, depositing his box, he stretched out his legs.
” I was told that you were out walking in the median on your own.” The way he said it, I thought I was being accused of skipping out on curfew!. The hair on my neck itched. ‘blast it all, I hadn’t done anything wrong’ the thought slowed my response. Joy’s friend? or?
“Excuse me, I don’t recall your name..” I spread out my fingers and held up my hands. ” I was out walking, the grounds are so wide and friendly. Who ever works on them, does a terrific job” This is the tactic I had used for defusing a difficult person. ‘ I had wanted to turn in a compliment for the grounds, anyway’ I thought to myself.

” I understand that you had a talk with Peters ” He looked up at me and went silent as a statute. I met his gaze with a stony one of my own. “I went walking out on the center grounds. Since most of my friends were tied up with their proj-responsibiities, I wanted a break from my work. I guess I needed some change of scenery.” I crossed in front of him and sat down on the center of the couch.( at least, it wasn’t MY couch ) . He rummaged through his box, without responding to anything I said. He pulled out a bag and dumped the coins on the table top. Wincing I hope that the coins didn’t scratch up or damage the table top. There were some that I recognize from coffees and some that appeared very old. I looked at the man and waited.
He drew in a sigh. ” I suppose that it wouldn’t hurt to review coinage. I have heard that the small growing communities trade with other things besides coinage.” He rubbed his nose and glanced over the mess. ” Let’s start with frequent ones. Pick out a quarta and a deci, everyone knows those, I supposed that is why we all have so much of the things .” He rolled his eyes skyward and his chin rocked back and forth. I pulled out a quarter and a dime. I was tempted to put the coins in order to hurry this along. “He was not accommodating ,the guy with the ponytail, I just wanted to buy something to eat and a drink. I asked a couple of simple questions” I commented, trying to explain the problem was the guy, NOT my math skills! Joy’s friend look over all the coins and then at me.
” You probably would do far better to listen FIRST!” He looked over the table top and added “pay attention to what coins are and how to use them. Instead of taking up someone’s time trying to keep you from making trouble. ” He pulled out some papers, some mini boxes and a timer.