Category: journey

Storms

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Yesterday had been so warm and sunny. The skies were blue. I thought and sighed. Today, the sky was weighted and closed in with dark gray stone clouds. The air is heavy and depresses every inclination that I had to work .
I could see from the double bank of windows on the other side of the massive meeting hall, the wind was blowing everything like laundry on a clothes line.
The outburst occurred with such fine drops creating such a mist that all was blurry and dim. The trees were towering high, warning of danger should they crack. I couldn’t help but think of them as army guards with their steel colored trunks and their thin arms catching several banners over the grounds.
Another long moan and thunder rattles the hinges as the wind screeches through the fissures in the door frames.
I faced the wet, glistening crowds, some irritated and snarling, at any the storm.
All the classes on the outer walls, were told to come to the two halls. We were told to come here, instead of English lab. I recognized Chemistry and Languages making their way into the paneled, ornately carved hall.
Clusters of dry, worried or shaken researchers, students and professors crowded in the large meeting room, with their piles of bags, books and other belongings. The bright, wide lights inset into the ceiling defied the gloom from the darkness outside. Study groups who were chattering on floors, stools, or chairs refused to move from their choice already occupied places.

Puzzled, I look over the crowds.
Standing up one of the benches, I noticed that neither Sam, Michael, Sherriel, nor Diamond and his crew were in the room. I wondered why Soucri was in here, she was one of Diamond’s girls and they always stayed together. Another loud moan sounded and the guards in the hallway urged people to get inside . The wind grew louder ,along with the whistling coming from the–building? The windows were coated in some very tough film, seen from the chipping on the corner of one of the windows.

“I just hope that the outer walls hold up” I mumbled .

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fuse lit

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Michael came up with two bags and two bottles of pink stuff, looking like a fierce warrior . ” You know, there are 3 ways you can change things! ” He slid a bottle over to Sam. Michael’s expression was dark with pure anger as he looked at me from on high.
“You can shove your way of doing things,” He set the bags in the middle of a table to the left of the couches. “on all the others as you did. OR YOU can” Michael unloaded the dishes and wrapped food for two. ” CHALLENGE THE AUTHORITY, tell them THEY ARE WRONG AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO IT!. WHICH YOU DID !”
Looking down at me, He took a long swig from his bottle. I sank down as far as I could, as we were attracting attention from below. There were scary characters on campus and Michael is definitely one of them.

“You asked if you had the liberty to talk? ” He loomed over me, shaking his bottle near my seated head. ” NO! you do not have the Liberty when you have done all that you have done!” .He dropped his bottle on the table, sounding like a chairman’s gavel.
“YOU did everything NOT to EARN THE LIBERTY. LIBERTY MUST BE EARNED”. Michael’s ears were pink as was his face. “LIBERTY is NOT deciding to quit all the actions that have BEEN DONE BEFORE, BECAUSE YOU DECIDE TO DO. ” Sam sat at the table and began eating, watching Michael roared, and ignored him.

Michael looked at his watch, sat down and took a bite of his pile of mushed beans, sauce and crusty bread. He ate for a few minutes, finished and then, glancing over at Sam, and rubbing his eye, before he continued. His roar soft er but stern. He glanced down at the hallway and moved his chair towards the table and away from below.
” LIBERTY is the CHOICES to follow the rules so all survive in a group together.” His hands smoothed out the napkin that was covered in crumbs. ” No-one person can decide to make up rules of their own! THERE WOULD BE NO AGREEMENTS AND NO WAY TO LIVE TOGETHER.”
I grabbed some of Sam’s fries . “So, what is the third way?” I asked and gave him a small smile, really curious about what WAS the third way of changing things.


Accepted Norms

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I looked out the library window. The sky was bright with a pale white sunshine. With its dark,fluttering leaves dotting the sky, it matched the students. Things had settled down. There were no people sitting around, angrily ,spitefully, yelling at other people . The calm was welcomed but you could sense the submerged opinions . After the address from Mr. Joffrey, of all people, the temper of the grounds cooled.

Last night, we started to plan on how to start on the project’s write up. The others were sketching or digging through cards and packets. There were plenty of people, so I went to the large board in the front and starting writing the outline. I wrote Subjects on the left and Topics on the right. The topics had not been decided upon, hence tonight’s meeting. Under subject, I wrote Chemistry, circled it in fluorescent blue ink and arched branches of Solutions, Compounds and Results, pyramid style. Claire held her clipboard and began sketching while looking at the board. She and I were late arrivals who had worked in the Library, catching up.
The guy with red curly hair pulled in place with a jazzy headband, looked up from the lay out and smiled . Angie was the girl I had talked to about the project when I first arrived. She and the others were making the packets that would be given out. He poked her and both stared at me.
Frowning, she looked at him, ” What is going on? I thought we were working on the titles first and then the topics.?” The guy with the headband they all seemed to prefer, nodded as he moved the cards into piles.
“Yes, that is what we are doing, using the large tables to get everything together. Angie pointed at the board. Claire and the guy looked at what I was writing. “Why is that group ignoring what we are doing?”

I stared back at Angie and the research group. “I was getting ready for the discussion, I thought this would be a way where everyone could see, you know,” as I changed the color of the pen – I stopped as everyone looked up, Angie and her guy was angry ]. (‘why?’ I thought ).
Sam looked at the board with the subject on the left side and the lines descending from it. He frowned and scratched his lip. ” I thought we were settling on the Titles and the topics before we decided on the subjects.” The guy with the headbanded red hair nodded. ” They is exactly what we are doing. I got the cards laid out. We just need to discuss”- his eyebrows furrowed together. – “Why?” He pointed to the board and squinted as they looked at the cards comparing what I had written.
“I was organizing points for the discussion.” My marker pen pointed to the diagram, proudly. ” I just thought writing it out would be a good map to shake out the ideas,” feeling like I had made a good contribution. Sam arched his eyebrow, and I turned to watch the reactions of everybody in the room. The expressions made me feel like I was one of the solution slides on the side table.
Meghan, stepped away from the slides she was preparing, wiping her hands off, stood in front of the board. She stood back and back some more. Looking at the cards on the table and at the board, ‘I had seen that expression last week, numerous times.’ Meghan was a ponderer, always careful about what she said. She read what was on the board and smiled in the manner of a cat observing an odd fluffy bird.
” You have an odd way of organization. I will tell you, but I supposed that there are more than one way to do everything? ” She smiled and tilted her head, still the far away look in her eyes, the gears were turning.

Hypotheses

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Since this morning’s class was postponed, I still haven’t heard why. The garden is calling as are the birds. They stay up high but if anyone appears in the upper windows, there is such a quick series of tweets, calls, high pitched wails and back to tweets again and again. The garden walkway was ill kept. Grass and weeds were growing in a motley green, overgrown path. I started pulling the beige, sharp grass, wishing I had a digger tool and garden gloves.
‘ I don’t know what is going on, ‘ yanking on a tough patch lodged in the corner. ‘ I can feel it, walking this morning. The air was warm, flowers smelled springlike, but the fear was there when any other person approached. It was all over the campus. ‘ My thoughts causing me to shiver.
Joy was walking towards the supply shed, pausing and coming over said. ” You have little memory of the times of ill and hurt, the helplessness, the unknown, the unseeable, the indefensible”.
The way she stated it. I found myself wishing I could have my dog to hold on to, right then. I brushed off my scratched knees, ‘ The walkway is going to have to take some time’. I made a mental note.
” the unseeable? like a virus?” I shoved the grass pieces in my pocket. ” No, I don’t understand. What there is to fear.” She stared at me. I brushed off my hands and smiled. Joy’s smile was sad and her eyes were the haunted fear that was all around.
I rubbed my hands on the back of my pants. to get rid of the dirt . I chuckled ” Keep your hands, legs, and face away from other people.!! Don’t get up in their space!” Tears clouded my eyes, but I wiped my eyes with the top of my shirt. Remembering my mother instructions flooded my eyes, then I smiled . ‘How many fall and winters had we heard?’
” Wash your hands, frequently . Sneeze or cough INTO tissues and keep you hands away from your face!” I intoned like my mother, who reminded us all of the things that needed to be done.
Joy smiled, puzzled at my outburst. ” orders? from the plants?”

Sudden Warning

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Sipping my tea, I pulled my blanket over my lap and tucked it around my knees, drawing my knees up with my interlaced fingers.
” We were talking about the farms, the towns and the problems people were having now. Then someone said that the places needed more security, the usual cooperation discussion went on. One of the senior scholars started talking about how the issues were SO critical and began sounding so scared. Ginger, all of a sudden, threw a yarn ball towards Pink and hit her. “
Marie stopped writing and glared. “What ?”
“She didn’t mean to, she apologized. She just wanted to hear from someone’s new. She did it so quickly, But” I leaned forward ,” it was somehow different. Frantic, fast ” I steepled my fingers. Marie looked puzzled, and made a scribble on the desk pad underneath her cup.
” But that is just it. The tension tightened. The words took on a submerged anger. Pink wasn’t hit that hard. Ginger was 4-5 ft away, it was a yarn ball.” I tossed an air ball.
” Pink reacted as if the governor had ordered her to leave. The people sitting around weren’t angry, they weren’t standing or yelling in her defense. They were staring at him.” I chewed on my lip. “That is when Ginger threw the yarn ball from her bag, that is when I looked around. They were in fear. Nothing was said but all eyes were hooded, guarded, hesitant .” Scratching my forehead,I brushed hair out of my eyes. “The senior scholar, the black gentleman, was warning, saying that what he had heard was bad, serious, unknown. At the point, when he was sounding scared? He and the other senior were talking together, whispering . “
I reached over and poured myself some tea. Marie leaned back, sipping on her tea cup, watching me.

Bruises fade?

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Pink stance drooped and shook her hands which had balled up . ” That is the important question! ” She tucked her head and snuggled back into the group of white haired girls , who moved in closer and protected her . Ginger stood up and reached for a piece of fruit, absentmindedly .
She seemed to have grown old. Her hair had fallen around her pale face. Her forehead was creased deeper than when we had stayed up most of the night, finishing our project several days ago .
She toss the fruit in the air and gasp when the fruit slipped through her fingers and caught on the edge of the table before hitting the floor. Her hands were shoved into the front of her tunic. . ‘ I hadn’t even notice the very large,deep pouch at waist level and going down to the thigh length edge of the tunic? ‘ Such a deep teal color, it looked really good on her.’ I noted to myself. I hunched forward like I was watching– a play, in a close dinner theater . ( only it wasn’t a play and I wasn’t leaving here and driving home.) Sam leaned forward and cocked an eyebrow at me. I quit smiling and leaned back into the cushions.

” I am hurt by my actions in hurting you. It WAS NOT PLANNED. I didn’t – I wasn’t trying to hurt you . My emotions were strong and I wasn’t concentrating on what I should have been. ” Ginger held up her cupped hands, with the ball of yarn . ” The ball was a means of making warmth for cold times, to help others who you want to help. It is not for creating more bruises.” Ginger held out her hands and hugged Pink , trying to keep her balance and not step on girls’ toes.
She nodded at the white haired girls seated there in their green dyed leather pants and jackets. The smiles were small and the eyes were a buttery warmth with broccoli green hues .

    Bruises

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    Ginger pulled the ball up from under the edge of the couch and threw it across , hitting the pink haired gypsy girl. Pink startled and tears gathered.
    “I am – I didn’t meant to throw it so hard. I sorry!. ” Sam frowned as did the Parliamentarian . ” I was just trying to hear from someone new!”
    The girls who were sitting on the arms of the far couch reached over and patted her . The black gentleman went over -stepping across legs and brushing Pink’s hair, he checked her cheek. ” This is NOT the place in which to invite steam in. Burns are hard to heal. ” He rubbed her chin. ” Actions are hard and words keep living all around us.”
    Pink rolled the ball in her hands. She frowned and glanced at all the staring , confused faces. Rubbing her ear, she darted a look at Ginger and at the people behind her. She stood, her forehead all crinkled and her face pale, bruises fading in several spots on her face and neck.
    ” We have survived and are doing well ,at last but there are others who want to submerged us and control – ” she drew up her shoulders and then dropped them as she squared her head. She met Tom’s, Sam’s and Ginger’s eyes.
    ” I am not from here, I was NOT INVITED! ” She moisturized her lips and looked at Diamond ” I know nothing about the issues you talk and talk and dislike. I am a Tag!” She rubbed the tight ball of yarn and teared up. ” All this talk! all the pushing and pretending ! ” She faced Diamond. ” All your complaints and disagreements. -” She wiped the tears from her cheeks. ” All the yelling about OTHERS – It’s just heading for the destruction again ! “I was a child , BUT I REMEMBER! ” She skidded the ball across the table at Sam.
    She looked at him ” Who brings weapons to a place where middle Hope is? ” She picked up and held her cup against her reddened cheek, bit her lip and shivered.

    Time and again

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    The black gentleman sank his head to his knees, a squeak sounding like the whine of a weapon before it explodes emitted. His voice was the closest to a cry of pain I have ever heard.
    “We KNOW HOW THIS ENDS! We all know what will happen again, and again, and again. The arguments, the accusations and THE ATTACKS. ” There will be comments, statements, JUDGEMENTS! from ALL SIDES. !!” he slammed his fists on the table edge, looking up , his voice rose into a cat howl. AT THIS POINT, HE WAS YELLING, he remembered the smoke in the streets, the uniforms and the looks that he got for following her parents.. He had thought there was NO WAY that the mistrust and spike in silence or in yelling and proceeding with the screaming and accompanied paperwork could happen again. THAT was just a one time thing ! Wasn’t it?

    There were glances, stiffened backs and people leaning forward rubbing shoulders. Diamond guy huffed and his eyes were glistening with tears. “This is what happens when the over others are more interested in themselves. We have to — ” He paused and looking around frowned. ” They HAVE TO — ? I mean- calm everything down. ” He drank a swig from a tall, curvy, blue pegged bottle, while he looked at everyone gathered in the area and the people gathering down the next level.


    Who possesses Hope?

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    A young man in a blue tartan flannel shirt, a yellow tie and a long robe stood up from one of the back benches. The robe was red with tiny, yellow horses worked into the design . The young man squeezed between the couches . He was a muscular, bearded man with broad girth and a wide nose. The brown eyes were deep pools and his yellow hair was falling down his forehead . He blew it away from his eyes. He picked up Sam’s fuzzy ball, squeezed it and pounced, so much, everyone drew back and some pulled their feet under them . The Scot, I suppose, was not fearful or nor hesitant.
    ” Our FIRST tall harvest, which we have culled and cared for years. People telling us we were wrong and should just not try. ” He ran his hair back and pinned it with his multicolored cap. His voice accusing everyone as he twisted and turned including all the people here.
    ” We figured out how to grow and clean up and how to save our own. WE DID, when nobody,” — he paused and nodded to Ginger.” ALMOST nobody gave us any chance! ” He tossed the string in its tangled mess and caught it like pizza dough. ” Then you people show up and demand that we give you parts!!”
    He glared at Sam and Diamond, his muscles were so tight that I could see the tendons in his face. He stared at the Black Gentleman, turning his back on the larger audience. “You marched and demanded to see the Cite. Of course, we are protective, we have had it with the hand-outs and the making leftovers work. ” He was winding the yarn in a unstructured way, while his voice filled the halls. The yarn began to appear similar to a bird nest. “We did something that nobody could do.”
    He turned and glanced down at me. His frown deepening and the ball yarn irritating my nose. I brush it aside and glared back. ” Now, you wanted us here to talk about joint issues and protections.” He stopped , grasping the ball , fingers wound through the mess. He nodded his head . ” Very sound. . We need supplies and merchanters ”
    He had been winding the yarn ball without looking at it. Many people seemed intent on watching, barely breathing, It was tight and loose, at the same time, almost as if the yarn was obeying his fingers. ” I haven’t heard a block or support about anything worthwhile. Just usual lies!. ”
    At least I think that is what he is saying. I couldn’t make out what he warns or means?’ I thought, ‘his voice was so fierce, almost malevolent.’
    The Black gentleman looked at him. ” A lot of research was done for you. We haven’t threatened your people. You could – ” He paused as the Scot looked down at him. Sam started to speak, but a frown from the black gentleman caused Sam to sink back into the loveseat, holding Sherriel’s hand.

    Past troubles?

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    “There have been heartaches. There are places where we believed we were trapped and forced to endure because the systems were crumbling”. The black gentleman’s eyes glazed over. The pain in his eyes I had seen on too many people in the hallways here.
    ” What could happen to engrave that deep pain in so many different people ?” I thought again. Nobody could explain it and I couldn’t go with that. Science didn’t allow for such questions to exist without being challenged, as my Dad would preach to many of his students.
    From the edge of the small loveseat, Sam started talking , fingering the string that was dangling from a hand . The black gentleman handed the string ball to him. Sam had been quiet and I thought he was studying, vaguely listening to the discussion around him. He often did that. Now he leaned forward and stared at the people across on the other couch.
    ” We have been doing this for years. Your town doesn’t like strangers , mine doesn’t like it either . ” His chin raised up and stated his facts. I knew that stance and leaned back.
    “None of us want strange people coming in and telling us what to do!” Sam pointed the string ball to everyone . A group standing in the hallway stopped and stared. The ball seemed to tease them. A few walked forward and leaned on the backs of the chairs. ” We think we know all. We figured out a lot of orders for ourselves. BUT”—-
    He tossed to ball in the air, causing the string to unravel and fall on the heads of the girls sitting with Ginger. He grinned and handed the ball to the nearest girl.
    ” But there are plenty of people in all of our places that disagree with different ideas! People who will yell to all that only your group or my group is solely “– Sam drew in a breath and let in out slow and easy. ” heaven sent with no forthcomings or judgements needed. The people who will condemn anyone who don’t buckle before THEIR speaker. ” He looked around and smiled, but it was that haunted smile that paired with the pain in the eyes.
    “We have more problems and yes, more workable ideas, this year than any in many a day.” Two of the grey suited with their long tunics and their sashes tight across their middle, rolled their eyes and left.
    ” The trouble is starting up. There were attacks on a number of lands, recently. The agreements are not being done . ” Ginger’s friend yelled out.
    Sam raised both his hands up “We all NEED HELP, AND trade or just” his eyes now gleaming , ” new people with new tiers and books to mix up. New ways to fix illness or repair damages with new material? We can’t quit, not when we are seeing hope and good stuff coming .” Sam sounded more pleading and desperate than when he wanted help studying for the medicinal tests. Silly comparison. I thought . What was happening, now? I was wondering and uncertain again.